The first thing I noticed about you was how confidently you began to nurse. Here you are, seconds old, and you latch right on to me as if you’ve done it a thousand times. I knew that we would be fine because you clearly already had the nursing skills, it was just a matter of you teaching me how.
I held your little body, with your buttery skin, and I just couldn’t wait to get you and your Dad alone so we could look at every little aspect of you. You had the chubbiest cheeks I’ve ever seen when you were born, they are a little more reasonable now, but we all commented on how much you looked like your Dad when he was born, the minute you were born. You have the softest skin and hair ever. You smelled so good to me and I held you and held you.
Nursing you is one of the best things ever. You are such a good eater and the minute you begin to nurse, we both relax and melt into the moment. One of my favorite things is when you hold my side with your little hand that is on the downward side. It feels like you are supporting me or escorting me to the dance floor. I feel your soft hand and we are connected even more. Sometimes when you fall asleep immediately after starting to nurse, I blow softly in your face to get you to keep suckling. Now, when you are sleeping, we blow in your face and your little lower lip and jaw start moving as if you are dreaming about nursing. I hope that when you feel the wind on your face, you associate it with the contentment of being nourished and that you have everything you need.
We also noticed your strong back and long long fingers and toes. One of the first things your Grandpa Steve said was that you have the fingers of a musician. There are a lot of musicians in your family, with the exception of me, at least at this point in my life, but you’ll have lots of teachers if you decide to play an instrument.
Though you look like your Dad so much right now, (I have the narcissistic and slightly selfish hope that some of my features will come out eventually), you do have one truly Keene trait and that is the notch in your ear that we all have. That’s another thing that Grandpa Steve noticed.
After everyone left, we napped and stared at you in our sun drenched room. It was so unbelievable to us that you were here with us, that we had created you, and that we could love something so fast and so deeply. I must admit that I immediately felt so protective over you in those first days, that it was almost uncomfortable. Any little sniffle or sneeze from you and I would feel like the world was collapsing. I remember calling my Mom and asking her if she felt like I did when I was first born. I asked her if the feeling of loving you so much that it hurt would subside over time. Of course I’ll always love you, and we are talking about the most incredible kind of love ever, but I hope it doesn’t hurt like it did in the beginning, because I might go crazy if it did.
No comments:
Post a Comment