During the first night of your life, we made a little area in the middle of us in bed for you to sleep on. Your Dad and I scooted as far to the edges of the bed as we could to make sure you had enough room, but quickly I began to realize that I needed to hold you at night too. From then on, you’ve slept in the crook of my arm, with my other arm around the bottoms of your feet. This way I can sense you stirring and needing to nurse and I can feel your little baby breath in my face. That first night, you woke up several times, and at one point you woke up and began to stare at me. We stared at each other and studied each other’s face. I felt connected to something so big and important looking into your eyes. Then I started to worry about you…I didn’t want to go back to sleep even though you had drifted off. The thought that something might happen to you or that you might experience pain, that night or at anytime in your life, scared me more than anything before. I began to realize that it will be a lifelong challenge to keep my worry about you at bay. I will do my best to keep that from hindering your experiences…I want you to fully experience life.
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